THE RESURRECTION OF MATTERS OF THE HEART

“I don’t want to do it anymore, “she told Him. “Why?” He asked. My heart is just not in it anymore. And I’m tired.” He didn’t really have a say in the matter because she had already made up her mind. Nothing He said would have convinced her otherwise at that moment in time.

This was a conversation between God and myself in 2015 when I stopped writing. I was brain dead. I had no more write in me. I had simply just lost the passion. But that was not it. I had also realised how I had made writing about myself more than I had made it about God. My blogs were not Holy Spirit inspired anymore. I had overtaken what God had given me to do and had left Him behind. So I stopped.  I’m not really sure if God gave me permission to stop or I just did it anyway, but I stopped. Several months later I tried scrambling a sentence here and there, but it didn’t work.

Over the next 2 years, I consistently had people who would get in touch with me and ask me when I was going back to writing. My answer was consistent. “I have a few issues to sort out with God, and when He’s ready for me to get back to it, I will.” Lentu Padi (God bless your gentle soul) is someone who every week/month would ask “When?”. I would get great ideas and amazing stories in my head that I felt I needed to share, but I still maintained that until God Himself told me to start again, I was not going to do it in my own strength.

My big brother from another mother, Lore would constantly encourage me to “just go for it and it will all come back.” One time, I tried. I sent an email to my mailing group and didn’t follow up after that. Until I heard a big loud deep voice from the sky say to me, “LERATO YOU CAN START WRITING AGAIN,” I was not going to move.

And then it happened…

I had booked for a beach horse-ride in Noordhoek for a certain Saturday afternoon. On the morning of the ride-day, they called me to say they couldn’t accommodate me, as they were full. I moved it out to another Saturday. On that particular Saturday I got hit by a tummy bug and I was as sick as a dog. I moved it out again. To a Saturday in Easter. Easter was a weird time to do it, but I thought ‘do it and get it over and done with’. I rode, and after the ride I decided to take a drive through Chapman’s peak.  It was sun-set so I stopped to admire God’s beauty and take it all in. A bunch of people stopped by and I asked one of them to take a picture of me. The guy who did, took a beautiful picture. I thanked him and as I walked to my car to continue my drive, a lady who was with them, stopped and asked me “Please can we take a picture with you.” “Sure” I responded.

They continued to tell me how they are from Switzerland, and have a “ministry” called “Love Your Neighbour.” They go all over the world sharing the message of loving people as inspired by Christ. I have ministry in inverted commas, because it’s a clothing line that they have but the root of it is grounded in Christ and the message of caring for others.

They blessed me with a t-shirt, asked to take a picture of  me in it. I obliged. We swapped Instagram details and I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving I was so inspired and kept saying to the God, “Wow, these guys are amazing! Lord I wanna change the world like that. They are not necessarily blown up in a celebrity kinda way but if they had that level effect on me, how much more on other people.” And that still gentle voice said to me, “You can do it too. Start writing again.”  It wasn’t a loud deep voice from the sky. It was the sweet gentle voice of the Holy Spirit.

I burst into tears. I pulled over by the side of the road and had a conversation with God about writing, that I had actually never had before.

Me:      For real Lord, can I go ahead again?
Him:    No not again, we are starting over.
Me:      Does it still remain “Matters of the heart?
Him:    Yep. But this time around, I’m in charge, not you.  Before you were doing it in my permissible will. Now I want you to do it in my perfect will. Before you were chasing numbers of followers and other things. Now I am going to do it, and if you never get a response from anyone, or it only touches one life, it’s okay.
Me:      Aye Aye captain. Take over. Do what you gotta do.

On Resurrection Sunday morning as I woke up to pray, I asked Him, Lord, so what’s the first one going to be about, and He said to me, since it’s resurrection day, call it the resurrection of MOTH. I was like “mmhhhh you so smart.”

And He lead me to the most important commandment in Matthew 22:37-38. Love the Lord your God  with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. “Go on” God said. Verse 39: Love Your neighbour as you love yourself. “Your version of loving your neighbour is Matters of the Heart” He said.

I was totally besides myself. Because looking back at how things transpired in God giving me the thumbs up, it can’t have been anything or anyone else but Him. Cancelled horse-riding session, tummy bug to keep me at home. I had to be at the right place at the right time. My Swiss friends had to be at the right place at the right time for God to confirm it to me. How is that for ordered steps?

In summary: Matters of the Heart is back.

Please make sure to follow the Love Your Neighbour movement
Instagram:       @loveyourneighbour, @michael_studer and @tognidavid
And pray for them to continue doing what they are doing.

Love Always
Lerato Molele